She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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