i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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