were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You took a bar mat shot.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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