so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
