just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize