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• (708): View more from Illinois

  We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  Let's do it. All homo

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• (858): View more from California

  This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.

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• (714): View more from California

  You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.

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• (562): View more from California

  Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.

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• (716): View more from New York

  As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.

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