Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
