I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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