dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
