Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
