i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
