There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
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I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
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I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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