something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
