haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
