Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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