That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
