hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
