bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
