You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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