OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think a kid would responsible me up
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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