this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
