I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
