My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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