There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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