i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
