Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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