dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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