I wish my penis had an off switch
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
