Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
