never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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