i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
