You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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