Who wears a wallet chain?!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Holy shit dude........stairs
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
