Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
