I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize