I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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