remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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