I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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