hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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