I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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