So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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