it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
