My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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