I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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