That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
