can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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