I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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