i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
