U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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