So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
