This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
