You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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