Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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