perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize