Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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