She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
