so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
