and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
