This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
