I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
