While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
