you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
