Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
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I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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