Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
