Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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