There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
