Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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